Random Rants (13): 45% off new energy efficient windows and doors plus HUGE Spring offers on Cialis and Viagra …

I have just checked an old AOL email account that I haven’t checked for months, possibly 2 years. It was a bit like going back to an old house to collect old mail, mainly junk and free film envelopes – or an ornate envelope from the Atsuko Daichi Hair Salon in Earl’s Court. Let me explain that last bit:

I once had a quick haircut in London at a Japanese salon (don’t ask why – it was the only place I could find open). It was the worst haircut ever. It was almost a King Jong-un. When I arrived, they asked for my address and date of birth, and they wrote it all down. I thought this had something to do with how they were going to cut my hair – whether there was a specific style for someone born in Hertfordshire on 10th April 1960. But, no. Instead they proceeded to send me a birthday card every year for the next 10 years. It was the only card I received several years running.

Anyway, I wish I’d checked the AOL account earlier.

If I had, I could have had taken up the offer to receive ‘Secrets from Weight-Loss Spas’, a Black Diamond Visa Card, a Gas Engineering Course, an Accident Advice Helpline, £20 Free Play at Tidy Bingo, a course to quit smoking (I don’t anyway) and take up ‘e-cigs’, a 75% saving on solar panels, £500 to spend at B&Q, a £200 Welcome Bonus from Bet Fred, a chance to claim an Apple Bundle worth £2,000, a Tesco Customer Service Survey Prize, a £2,000 Holiday Gift Card from Thomson, an Anglian Home Improvement Offer giving 45% off new energy efficient windows and doors and a bigger penis ‘kit’ by also taking up the HUGE Spring offers on Cialis and Viagra to include intimate stimulants and the hottest method to satisfy my ‘loved one’.

And all the above was in the normal ‘In Box’. I haven’t checked the spam folder yet …

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