World Cup Blog (2): Landing on a water bottle …

‘That was a vewy sad moment for us,’ said Woy Hodgson. He wasn’t referring to Italy scoring a second goal, though. He was referring to England physio Gary Lewin who dislocated his ankle celebrating Stuwwidge’s goal – which just about sums it all up. Apparently he jumped up and ‘landed on a water bottle’. Landed on a water bottle! They’re calling it a ‘freak injury’. I don’t know know what the difference is between an ‘injury’ and a ‘freak injury’ – perhaps it is the England goal that was the ‘freak’? I dread to think the damage he would have suffered if Wooney had scored … but of course that was never going to happen.

Why is Wayne Wooney one of the faces of Nike? Why is he on every billboard and every World Cup wall chart poster? He’s never scored a goal in the World Cup and he doesn’t look like he’s going to, either. His most memorable World Cup ‘moment’ was ranting on camera at fans after drawing 0-0 with Algeria. It is very sad that it is ‘the end of the World Cup for physio Gawy’ (Woy’s words), but maybe Wayne should be put on the plane home, too. Last night Wooney was 10 yards from goal with a golden chance … and missed. He would have still missed even if the ref had got out his graffiti spray can to indicate where the goal was. He then hit a corner straight out of play.

Thank God for Waheem Sterling, Woss Barkley and Stuwwidge – although I’m dweading Uwuguay on Thursday …

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