Random rants (5): Mourinho, Giggs and the world stopping.

According to José Mário dos Santos Mourinho Félix – you know, ‘The Special One’ – the world is going to stop tonight for the Manchester United v Real Madrid Champions League match … and he should know. I suppose he means it is going to stop turning or spinning. I don’t know what time kick-off is but it’s bad news. If the world stops spinning, the side facing the sun will get very hot indeed, Mr.Mourinho, and the water in the oceans on the sunny side will eventually turn to vapor, and then that vapor will travel to the cold side and condense in the form of rain and then eventually snow, whilst the water on the dark side will freeze, and whilst there’ll be a few places around the ‘twilight’ area that are stuck in dawn/dusk and where liquid water might still be available, life is suddenly going to become pretty unpleasant. Also, Mr.Mourinho, if planet Earth ceases to rotate about its axis but continues to revolve around the sun and its axis of rotation maintains the same inclination, the length of a year will remain the same, but a day will last as long as a year, which means that the sequential disappearance of centrifugal force will cause a catastrophic change in climate and disastrous geologic adjustments to the transforming equipotential gravitational state. I mean, I’m just saying, because we don’t want all that, do we? We don’t really want a day to last a year. That’s going to play havoc with all the sodding statistics we’ve had to endure for the past week. We’re supposed to be watching the 39-year old Ryan Giggs play his 1,000th senior game tonight, chasing his 29th goal in his 134th Champions League match, knowing that Danny Welbeck was just 3-months old when Giggsy made his debut … or 90-years old if the world stops spinning …

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