Random rants (6): Aries v Libra

I don’t know if it’s the hint of Spring (at least here in Spain) or because we’ve now entered the first astrological sign in the Zodiac, spanning the first 30 degrees of celestial longitude, which is the area the Sun transits, more or less, between March 21st and April 20th … but celebrating a birthday in April means I’m already hyper again. It’s the same every year. I’ve tried not to be fascinated by horoscopes, but I can’t help it. Also, things have always happened to me around this time of the year – for better or worse, ‘richer or poorer, in sickness and in health’. Whilst working at the offices of the newspaper La Vanguardia, I only ever read the daily horoscope column – and the first thing I read in The Sunday Times each week is the deliciously dessert-sounding name of Shelley von Strunckel and her prediction of my forthcoming week at the back of the Style supplement. Von Strunckel knows me better than I know myself. ‘This is the first time you’ve overcommitted and it won’t be the last,’ she told me on 10th February – and she was dead right. ‘Now,’ she wrote, on 24th February, ‘between Mercury being retrograde, increasing the need for precision, and Monday’s Full Moon heightening your feelings, your exasperation could become explosive.’ And it did. Especially once I was gonged off at the Comedy Store the next day after just 1 minute, 47 seconds.

The reason I first became obsessed with astrology was because … okay, here goes … I had three, very serious, very long relationships, with three ex-girlfriends, who all shared the very same birthday. Is that odd? It was years ago – but it was also over a period of 15 years – but, no, I wasn’t dating all three at the same time – and no, I didn’t know they all shared the same birthday when I first met each one of them (and, no, they’re not on Facebook, as far as I know). By the time I met the third girl with the same birthday (and, no, I hadn’t deliberately searched for one), I decided to investigate ‘astrological compatibility’. The star sign they all share is Libra, the zodiacal opposite not only to Aries, but their birthday of 15th October also turned out to be the exact opposite to my 10th April birth date. Was that simply a coincidence? Or do opposite star signs attract? According to the likes of von Strunckel, the answer is, ‘Sometimes.’ For example, Clyde Barrow was an Aries and Bonnie Parker was a Libra. But I’m not sure if that helps. Bonnie & Clyde were a gangster couple in the 1930s who couldn’t get enough of each other, but then it all ended in a hail of bullets …

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