Random rants (9): Back to Basics 2 (or how Tory sex scandals drive blog traffic)

It seems there’s nothing like a Tory sex scandal to drive traffic to one’s blog. I posted an innocent enough rant on 6th May (below), entitled ‘Back to Basics at last: Tory MPs and sex scandals’, merely because I was fed up reading about the Yewtree seventies-celeb investigations of Jimmy S, Jimmy T, Jim, Rolf, Dave Lee, Freddie, Gary and Stuart – and because I’d found it rather refreshing to see a sex ‘scandal’ back where it belonged: in politics. I mean, sex only seems to be scandalous if it is linked with politics, doesn’t it? Ask Bill Clinton. Everywhere else (unless of course it is rape, paedophilia, necrophilia, or sex with animals, or unless you live in Nigeria, where I gather their House of Representatives passed a bill on Thursday to criminalize not only gay marriage, but same-sex ‘amorous relationships’, too – and in Virginia, I don’t think you’re allowed to have sex with the lights on) … sex is just … sex. Oh, sorry … unless you’re a Tory MP …

Today, I discovered that my May 6th blog has received more hits in the past 24 hours than e-Bay, Twitter and Facebook combined (okay, I exaggerate just a little – but the figures are huge). Blog ‘tools’ allow you to check on the search words used by visitors to your site – and normally it is a combination of ‘tim parfitt + blog + madrid + vogue + a load of bull + comedy’ etc. Today, however, every single internet user who has keyed in any combination of the following words (and the list is immense) has arrived at my site: ‘tory sex scandal, new tory affair scandal, latest mps sex scandal, sex scandal tories, who are the ministers in latest tory sex scandal? what are the names of the tory mps having an affair? who is the tory mentioned in the latest sex scandal? who are ministers in latest tory sex scandal? … it goes on and on and on …

To all of you trawling the internet and seeking answers to these crucial questions, I am sorry that I can’t give you the answers. Besides, it’s a Mail on Sunday story (‘Internet speculation rife over identity of mystery couple involved in No.10 secret love affair as PM holds crisis talks over tryst’), and even they write that the identities of the people involved cannot be disclosed for legal reasons. But nothing can beat John Major and Edwina Currie. Surely?

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